True Slash
by Werewindle
Summary: Compleated Joxer writes Slash, Gabby throws a fit, Dite judges a contest and Ares makes an appearance. Gabby bashing, OOC Xena, snarky Jox
1. Joxer the Snarky

Title: True Slash

Author: Werewindle

Email: Werewindle@otakumail.com

Rating: Pg-13 

Fandom: Xena/Hercules

Pairing: A/J

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.

Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena

Status: WIP

Series/ Sequel: 

Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.

Website: 

Summary: Answer to a challenge ~  What if Joxer is writing a slash story (guess who's in it) and Gabby finds it and reads it and says that she could write a better story than Joxer because she's a bard an he's not. Xena says why don't they both write a story and get Dite to judge who is the better slash writer. Dite agrees to do it, and she **asks **Ares to help her when she realize that Joxer has written a story that is about him and Ares, and she wants to get them together. Ares like the idea and set's out to make Joxer's story come true.   

 Beta by 

Joyous Trouble

Joxer's POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We'll make camp here." 

Thank the Gods, my feet are killing me**. **Xena takes the saddle and supplies off Argo before setting off to catch dinner. Gabby starts gathering stuff for a fire maybe she wants a hand?  "Can I help?" *Glaring* "Um, Ok I'll just, ah, sit over here out of the way."  

Sometimes Gabby can really hold a grudge, I didn't /mean/ to trip. Besides she got all the manure washed off. 

Well if I'm going to be ignored anyway I might as well work on my story. Dite told me that writing was a good way to work out you thoughts. She was talking about the nightmares I used to have**, **especially when I traveled alone. The writing really helped and I don't get nightmares as often. Now that the nightmares are gone it seems I have room for dreams of a different sort. I write these down too. Not because they confuse me or are even frightening, I just don't want to forget them. 

Morpheus has favored me with dreams about my god, Ares. In them he lets me worship him physically, offering up my own body in tribute. Sometimes he finds me traveling and takes me away to keep as his pleasure slave. In the best ones though, my favorites, Ares loves me. Cares for /me/, sees beyond the surface clumsiness. Lets me ramble on with out getting mad, maybe even thinks my song is cute. 

Such fantasies right? I mean what would the God of War want with me? I'm not even a very good warrior. I know that**,** even if Xena and Gabby don't think I do. It s just easier to pretend, after all**,** putting up with their irritation is better than dealing with their pity. At least I have my dreams, even Ares can't get mad at me for them. Everybody needs dreams, something to strive for, they give us mortals hope. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Joxer, Joxer!  *smack*  Pay attention, what are you doing any way? Hey! If that's one of my scrolls..." 

"No! Gabby give that back! It s mine, c'mon please... It's not funny Gabby, give it back!" 

"Joxer, *giggle*  are /you/ trying to write a story? A slash story none the less, with you and *snort* Ares? How pathetic is that?" 

"Gabrielle, give Joxer back his scroll." 

"But Xena! He honestly thinks he can write romance. I mean what could he know about romance?" 

"It's not like you could do better, you gave up fiction writing remember?" Cranky much? Sheesh.

"Joxer, of course I could do better. I  /am/ a Bard after all. You are just a fool wannabe warrior."

"Don't be rude Gabrielle. I'm sure Joxer can write just fine. He does have a vivid imagination." 

Thank you Xena. 

"Delusions, you mean." 

"Gabrielle." That's right heel Gabby, heel.

"What?" 

"You two /will/ quit fighting, before you give me a headache."

"But Xena" 

"Stop! This is what you are going to do. Joxer is going to finish his story, and you are going to write one as well. In a week when we reach Athens we'll go to Dite's temple and she can judge which is better. Ok?"

"Shouldn't Joxer have to start a new one as well?"

"Why Gabrielle? You said it your self; you're a Bard, he isn't. What's one little scroll in a week to a Bard, it's not like it has to have /plot/ or anything.

"Settled? Good. Joxer sit back down. Gabrielle, dinner is burning.

Ok, well wasn't that great. God I can't believe I thought I was in love with that harpy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

Sadly I've hit a block while writing this, so I'm posting in hopes of some good feedback. Read it and send me ideas or things you would like to see. Anything that might inspire me.  
  
*Bows to Joyous Trouble*  Who was willing to beta this for me.

Werewindle


	2. Joxer the Sly

Title: True Slash 2/?

Author: Werewindle

Email: Werewindle@otakumail.com

Rating: Pg-13 

Fandom: Xena/Hercules

Pairing: A/J

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.

Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena

Status: WIP

Series/ Sequel: 

Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.

Website: 

Joxer's POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Thwack * "Get up Joxer." Staff in the gut is sooo not the best way to wake up. Sheesh and Gabby wonders why she keeps finding slimy things in her bedroll. Lets see, an apple for breakfast, well at least it isn't more burnt fish. Yesterday sucked, Gabby acted like she was trying out for high priestess of bitchyness. I hope today is better. 

We're past Midus, heading toward, oh that little one with the creek on the other side of the road. I can never remember the name. Dite has a shrine near there. Ok so it's more like an alter in front of a rose arch. 

Still it has been a while since I left an offering and I do have that pink beaded bracelet. I was planning on giving it to her in Athens but Gabby would probably say I was trying to bribe the judge. So I can just slip on over while the girls are getting supplies. Leave the offering and maybe give Dite the heads up on our visit in Athens. I mean it would only be polite to inform her rather than just show up and demand her response. Right? Right, and if the gift raises me in her graces… well she is a goddess and if that's her prerogative then who am I to argue. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lady Aphrodite I bring you an offering and wish you well on this day." 

Hi Dite, it's me Joxer; just passing through and thought I'd bring you a gift. I also wanted to let you know that we are heading to Athens to stay for a while. Xena came up with this idea that Gabby and I should each write a slash story and have you judge whose was the best. 

I think Xena was looking for something to keep her occupied. Guess I'm not the only one who is tired of her attitude. Anyway I'm putting one of my dreams down as my story, you know the ones. I don't know what Gabby is planning, but it will probably be entertaining.

Well I need to get going. See you soon, oh and tell Bliss I said hi."      

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Olympus, Temple of Love)

Well, well Joxie this is interesting. Just the opportunity I've been waiting for. I think I'll need another judge for this, just to be fair. 

"Oh Ares…" *flash *          

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

Ok I know it's a bit short but it was a good stopping place and I figured you'd want me to post it rather than have it sit on my computer.

Tell me what you think and any ideas about Gabby's or Joxer's stories, or anything else. 

Werewindle                                                                                                                                                                      


	3. Joxer the Annoyed

Title: True Slash 3/?

Author: Werewindle

Email: Werewindle@otakumail.com

Rating: Pg-13 

Fandom: Xena/Hercules

Pairing: A/J

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.

Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena

Status: WIP

Series/ Sequel: 

Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.

Website: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh come on Ares, it'll be fun. You'll get to see your daughter while she is not trying to stop one of your wars or some thing and torment Xena's bard in addition."

"Really Dite, do you think I need a reason to torment Blondie? Why would I wan"  

"Come on Ares, you owe me one.  Please do this for me?  It will be worth it I promise."

"Right, unless there is gonna be blood shed or an orgy I don't see how."

"Ha, Ares this is the Gabster we're talking about her story alone is bound to be good for at least a decade of laughs, not to mention her utter humiliation."

"Hn, still I would have to put up with all her…screeching. Wouldn't  'Pol be better for this sort of thing?" 

"You think I'm gonna let Slut Boy near my Joxie? No way!"

"Your Joxie?"

"Your Joxie, my Joxie whatever. Come on Ares, please?"

"Fine if it will get you to leave me alone. When is this thing?"

"Four days, my temple, Athens. Thanks! Kisses. Gotta jet." *flash* 

"Her Joxie? He's my Joxie, er warrior. So Joxer writes slash, hmmm. *Big Feral Grin* Interesting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joxer's POV

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just four days till we reach Athens, just four days. Gods I don't know if I can make it for three days! The constant mumbling, all day while we walk. Mumbling when she cooks, mumbling in her /sleep/. 

Gods! It's driving me mad. 

Gabby has been glaring at me every time I pull my scroll out. Like she wants to burn the thing. All her bragging about being a bard and she acts like she has never written something for a competition. Like she's never…oooOooo, that's it! Hehehehe  

Gabby has never written slash.

That explains everything. She is freaked cause she has to write…bet she doesn't even /know/ what two guys do together. Oh now I'm really looking forward to this. And boy does she have it coming. This is the part where I would cackle evilly, but that would make them suspicious. Must hold it in. 

~~~~~~~~~~

A/N 

 Hi guys! Hope you all like it. I think I made Ares a little OOC, oh well.

I need some help writing Gabby's story. So here is what we are going to do. You are going to write a sentence or two that you think would go in Gabby's story. Weather it be a description or dialogue, whatever. Then I'll use as many as I can to make her story. 

Just a few things: One partner has to be bigger that the other. (Think the difference between Herc and Iolaus, but not necessarily them) Nothing too bizarrely kinky, this is after all Gabrielle the prude. (Well at least she is in my story)

Thanks guys!

Werewindle


	4. Joxer the Clean

Title: True Slash 4/?

Author: Werewindle

Email: Werewindle@otakumail.com

Rating: Pg-13 

Fandom: Xena/Hercules

Pairing: A/J

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.

Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena

Status: WIP

Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.

Website: 

~~~~~~~

There are some great advantages to being the only male in the group. Like being able to bath by yourself, it allows for other things. 

We are two days from Athens and Gabby has finally figured out what to write for her story. Well, at least she has been doing a lot of scribbling on her scrolls. Still mumbling though. 

Even if the water is a little cool it feels nice to wash off the grime of traveling. Not to mention that whole incident with the bandits and that merchant…then the cow brains. *Shudders* Badness very much badness. 

Feels like someone is watching me. I keep looking around and nothing is there. Maybe all the traveling with Xena is making me paranoid. 

Just that I could swear there's eyes on me. Like something has decided I'd make a really good lunch. /Weird/  

~~~~~~~~

Joxer is defiantly better looking without the armor. Absolutely the first thing to go when I get him to Olympus. 

Never had anyone there permanently, it would be nice to come home to Joxer. Company, another voice, the Halls have been too quiet since Strife moved in with Cupid. 

Besides as his god it's my right to reward Joxer when he wins this little competition. Or offer to take his mind of it if he loses. Not that that's going to happen. 

Mmmm Very nice indeed. A new wardrobe will be in order. Silk and leather, tight leather. 

Too bad I have got stuff to take care of if I want the next week interruption free I was enjoying the show.  

~~~~~~

This isn't so different from anything else. Nope, not at all. Really, how hard can it be to write two guys together? Like Xena said there doesn't have to be any plot, and it's two guys so it's not like there will be any *real* romance. Just some rutting around. Yeah that's it.

~~~~~~

Ah, peace and quiet. Joxer has not been saying much. Thought he did look like he was going to break out in hysterics the other day. Gabby has been less annoying…if you over look the mumbling. 

Think I'll go fishing this afternoon, when Jox gets back from his bath. 

Two days to Athens and we are staying there for at least a week. Hot baths, /beds/, clean sheets, and some good mead. Going to be a nice break.  

A/N 

Short, transitional chapter. Next one should be them in Athens, maybe the start of the competition, we'll see. 


	5. Joxer the Fed

Title: True Slash 5/? 

Author: Werewindle

Email: Werewindle@otakumail.com

Rating: Pg-13 

Fandom: Xena/Hercules

Pairing: A/J

Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.

Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena

Status: WIP

Series/ Sequel: 

Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.

Website: http://grayswandir.virtue.nu/

Joxer's POV

~~~~~~~~~~

Thank Ares we finally made it to Athens! There was surprisingly little trouble the last few days considering our less that great start. 

Xena wants to head to the temple first before going to an inn. Good thing I got up early and washed in the spring this morning, really rude to show up at a Goddess's temple dirty and smelly. 

And greatness we're here before lunch! Not many people know this, which is probably good because Dite wouldn't like a bunch of people showing up begging for her to /cook/, but she makes a wonderful fruit salad. My favorite is the pineapple, which is an odd name 'cause it isn't a pine or an apple. 

I know it's bad going into a temple and expecting stuff from a goddess, I mean that's not what the whole worshiping thing is about right? But, well, she got me addicted to it and after a week of an absent-minded Gabby cooking I've been practically dreaming of it. 

~~~~~~~~~

"Goodie you all made it here early!"

"Um, Dite how did you know we were coming?"

"Goddess. Omniscient. Duh! Well come here, I made lunch. I know you mortals get funny if you're not fed regularly. Joxie I made your favorite."

"Thanks Dite you're the best!"

"Well if she is so omniscient how come she didn't fix our favorites?"

"Just because I'm omnificent doesn't mean I /care/. Sit down, eat the other judge will be here soon and you guys need to get cleaned up too. Especially you two." 

"Judge?"

"Are you trying to say we stink?"

"Another Judge so who ever wins can't say it's because I like the other better. You /do/ stink, so after you eat you will bathe and put on fresh clothes. If you are staying in my temple you are /not/ walking around all grotty."

"No problem Dite. A quick wash in a creek is nothing like a hot bath. But I don't have any clean clothes; these were my last ones. Sorry."

"Ah Joxie, no worries. I'll take care of it. I have to run an errand, Xena and Gabby have the first room on the right down the hall and Joxie is in the last on the left. Be back in a bit. Bye!" *flash*

"Quit grumbling Gabby, just think /hot bath/.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gabby was very rude, at least Dite was in a good mood or she could of ended up as a small rodent for the day. 

I wonder who the other judge is? Maybe another god, but I doubt many would volunteer. Apollo? He is the god of bards and poets. It could be a mortal, but whom would she pick? Do we know them? Hmmm…

We'll know soon enough. 

I've never worn clothes quite like what Dite left me. Deep burgundy leather pants and vest with a full sleeved pale gray shirt. They fit just right too. Actually the pants are a bit tight but that's how Dite likes them anyway. Something about guys in the future wearing them so baggy that the crotch hangs almost to their knees. Which totally ruins the view.

~~~~~~~

"Hey guys you look nice."  Well Xena did, she was wearing a dress of dark green that wrapped around and crossed over her chest and behind her neck leaving her arms and half her back uncovered. Gabby on the other hand was wearing a short-sleeved lilac dress that looked like it didn't quite fit right, crooked seams or something. 

*Flash* 

"Hi Dite" 

"You going to tell us who the mysterious judge is?"

"Or where he is."

*Flash*            *stunned silence*  

"Oh did I forget to mention."  *giggle* 

A/N

Hi all! Yes I finally got another part out, I am trying to get it finished soon.
    
     Yes 'reviewer r' I am a writer at the AJCS list. In fact this story is up for Best First Time and Best Challenge Response for their annual awards. If I can get it finished by the end of the month.  
    
    So go check out AresJoxerCupidStrife at  
    
     http://www. ares joxer cupid strife . com   
    
      
    
    
    
    (don't forget to take out the spaces since ff.n doesn't like urls)  
    
    and the yahoo group   
    
      
    
    
    
    http:// groups . yahoo . com/ group/ Ares Joxer Cupid Strife/
    
    Lots of great fics from lots of wonderful authors. 


	6. Joxer the Surprised

Title: True Slash 6/?  
Author: Werewindle  
Email: periwinkle@otakumail.com  
Rating: Pg-13  
Fandom: Xena/Hercules  
Pairing: A/J  
Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.  
Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena  
Status: WIP  
Series/ Sequel:  
Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.  
Website: http://grayswandir.virtue.nu/  
  


"Ares" Xena sighed resignedly.

"Ares" Gabby growled.

"Ares" Joxer squeaked.

"The one and only" Smirked the war god while Dite giggled a little more. "New look for you three, your doing I presume?" Ares asked Dite as he circled the mortals. 

"Casual, loose, less threatening then the leathers. Dropped the 'armor', leather but burgundy *shrugs* House of Love. This though Dite, is not up to your usual standard. Gabby looked askance at Dite before batting Ares hand away where was pulling at a sleeve. 

"About that Dite, where did you get this dress it fits funny, like the seems are crooked or something"

"Blondie the seems aren't crooked, must be you." 

"How about getting this thing started, hmm? Well are you two going to get your stories or not?" 

"Each of us takes a copy, Gabby's first then Joxer's. Write comments on it if you want, then we'll decide who wins, 'kay?"

"I think I'm going to need some red ink if we're going to read Gabby's first. What are you doing with the 'competitors' while we do the judging bit? Leave them locked in their rooms, have them scrubbing hallways, throwing a mini orgy?"

"Ar' I wouldn't do that to Joxie, well maybe the orgy but with the Harpy? *shudders* Not in my temple. I left them some snacks in the great room and blocked off the rest of the temple, except their rooms. Not that I expect this to take to very long."

* * *

You have to give it to Dite, my sister may be air headed at times but she does have taste. I so enjoyed Joxer's new outfit. Who wouldn't? Ass hugging leather, head bare showing that dark hair long enough to get a good hold on. To bad I promised Dite to do this or I would have carted him off right then. Oh well at least I'll find out just what Joxer likes. Maybe we can do a little fantasy fulfillment later. 

* * *

Oh my stars! Ares is the other judge. He is here reading my story, that I wrote about my dream, with him and I together. Oh this could be bad, very, very bad. Or not so bad, I mean Dite wouldn't deliberately do something to cause my death right? I haven't done anything to piss her off, at least I don't think so…oooooh badbadbad.

*pace, pace, sit, stand, pace*

Ok Joxer calm down no worries, so Ares the God of War is going to find out you fancy him. That's not so bad, right? I'll bet lots of people think he's gorgeous. All that leather and heat and tightly coiled power.

Shit bad time to get turned on.

* * *

A/N 

Ok not a long chapter but I am at my aunts and can't really take too long on the computer. In fact I typed this while everyone is in bed. I hope to have Dite and Ares going over Jox and Gabby's stories in the next chap. Which should be tomorrow or the next day. 


	7. Joxer the Author

Title: True Slash 7/?  
Author: Werewindle  
Email: periwinkle@otakumail.com  
Rating: Pg-13  
Fandom: Xena/Hercules  
Pairing: A/J  
Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.  
Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena  
Status: WIP  
Series/ Sequel:  
Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.  
Website: http://grayswandir.virtue.nu/  


First for your reading pleasure, the contestant's entries: 

Down On the Farm

By Gabrielle 

Zepicles stepped into the house after a hard day in the fields. "Honey I'm home!" he called as he took off his dusty shoes. 

"Darling, dinner is almost finished." Leinon told him as he stood on tip toes for a kiss. Zepicles wrapped his massive arms around his petite partner's waist almost lifting the smaller man off the floor to deliver a wet open mouth kiss. 

"Dinner can wait Honey, I need you now. Let's go to our room and have hot sweaty sex."

"Yes please, oh Darling, I have been craving your touch all day." Zepicles grinned and swung Leinon up in his arms and to carry him to their room. "Hurry Darling." Leinon gushed as he ran his hands across Zepicles' sinewy shoulders. 

When they reached their room Zepicles gently lowered his lover to the bed. Pulling away he ran his fingers caressingly through Leinon's long glorious hair. 

'Leinon lounged back on the bed, glancing up at Zepicles, peeking flirtatiously through his long, dark lashes as his big, muscled partner slowly disrobed. He felt lust rise, as thick and sweet and hot as warmed maple syrup, as he avidly studied Zepicles' perfect body. He looked like a Greek god, which wasn't surprising, since he was Greek, and related to a god.'* 

Zepicles jumped back into bed covering the smaller man's body with his own, grinding their groins together. "You feel so good Baby" he grunted sweat forming on his rippling muscles. 

"I'm ready Darling, take me now!" Leinon demanded. 

Zepicles didn't reply instead he flipped him over pulling Leinon to his knees before burying himself in the heat of his partner. He pumped powerfully into his moaning lover for long minutes finally coming with a growl. 

Leinon only whimpered as the solid weight of his partner fell on him. He cried out in protest when Zepicles pulled out from his entrance flopping to lie beside him. 

'Tearfully he turned to Zepicles and cried, "You can't leave me like this"'** He gestured to his leaking erection. 

"Oh sorry Honey, let me get that." he apologized as he took a hold of the angry looking member and stroked him to completion. 

Leinon curled into his massive partner's side feeling sated and protected surrounded by his arms. 

The End  
~~~~~~~~

The Dancer 

Joxer the Mighty

The boy was not especially hansom or very strong nor did he have any extraordinary talents. In fact for someone living in a Warlord's household he wasn't very war like. Never the less his body was not unpleasant to look at, he had a clear voice for singing, and an even temperament. 

It was this that drew one of the dancers the Warlord kept to befriend the boy. Nye liked Joxer and decided that he needed a hobby. Something he could be good at. So late one afternoon she started to teach him how to dance. At first Joxer was very clumsy; stumbling through the steps, falling over, crushing toes, but Nye kept at it. 

She taught him how to find his balance, stretches and exercises to lengthen his muscles to make him more limber and flexible. She taught him how to move so it looked like he flowed boneless. How to walk, sit, stand, everything. Joxer enjoyed it he no longer tripped over his feet or anyone else's. He smiled more and flirted a bit with the dancing girls, even some of the younger warriors.

Few people knew that Joxer had been dedicated to Ares as a child. So it surprised Nye and the girls when upon hearing that the Warlord planed a feast that Ares would be attending Joxer nearly fainted. 

Joxer had always found the war god compelling. The first time he had heard Ares voice he very nearly came in his pants. Joxer wanted Ares to notice him but didn't know how to get his attention. He was barely competent with a sword, nothing to make him stand out in the house of a favored Warlord. 

Almost crying at the hopelessness of his feelings, he told this to Nye. She sat there deep in thought for a long moment before getting a truly sly look on her face. 

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

A couple of weeks passed and the night of the feast came. Joxer stood in front of a mirror nervously fingering a cuff. He was unsure about being seen in his new out fit. The pants were supple black suede that moved and twisted with his body. They were laced tight along his legs before loosening to fall over the tops of his bare feet. At the hip the material did not meet leaving a sliver of his thighs showing. He wore no shirt instead he had bands of the same black suede at his wrists, biceps and throat. Nye had outlined his eyes in something dark making them look bigger. 

Joxer was going to dance with Nye and a few of the others as part of the night's entertainment. He hoped to catch the war god's eye. This was the only thing Joxer did that he felt he was any good at, his only chance to seduce his obsession. 

~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~

Joxer took his place arms around Nye's waist. He sent a silent prayer to the goddess of fortune and started to move at the first beat of the drum. He rolled and swayed his body to music. Sometimes pulling one of the girls close, moving in sync or twirling them across the floor. 

Mostly he danced alone, the center of the action. Grinding his hips, twitching his limbs enticingly, always looking at Ares when he could. Moving fluidly, bewitchingly; feet, hips, and hands keeping rhythm. Joxer danced putting his whole being into it. Heat and passion in every movement. Lust pouring off him, love shining from the depths of his eyes. 

The last beat fell with Joxer in front of Ares on his knees, back arched, head almost touching the floor between his feet, arms outstretched. His eyes caught Ares' as he moved to stand up. His hand was grasped and Joxer was jerked forward to sit on Ares' lap. Tugging at his collar Ares pulled Joxer into a heated kiss. He stayed by Ares side the rest of the night. Shooting shy, triumphant smiles at Nye and the others as they started an other dance. 

In the wee hours of the morning Ares flashed them to his temple where they spent the day finding out just how delightfully flexible Joxer was. 

The End  
~~~~~~~

Ares and Dite sat down in a pair of comfortable chairs with their copies of Gabby's story ready to begin. All was quiet for a few minutes as they read then the snickering started. Followed by exclamations of 'Honey' and 'Darling' as they got further in to the story. At one point Dite burst out cackling 'Take me now!' batting her lashes at a chuckling Ares. 

By the end both had dipped into the pot of red ink more that once. Rolling their eyes at some of the things and smirking knowingly at each other over what for the 'Bard' was a shockingly short attempt. 

Setting aside Gabby's they picked up Joxer's scroll. Once again there was silence as they started to read. This time there was no snickering. Occasionally one or the other would shift in their seat. When they had finished neither reached toward the red ink. Ares gestured to the paper before him "Did you know about this Dite? More of your meddling?" His glare was not quite convincing. 

"Ar' I wouldn't do that, I had nothing to do with Joxer's feelings. I may have know who he was going to write about. This isn't some spur of the moment thing Bro'. Oh, come on you know you think he's hot. He'd make a good distraction to, you have been working like /way/ too hard. But if you hurt him badly I'll make you regret it, yours or not."

~~~~~

A/N

Gabby's turned into an unimaginative porno. It's the most graphic thing I have ever written. Sitting in my Aunt's living room none-the-less, hoping nobody would look to closely at what I was working on. Good thing my cousins are still at school. 

* Contributed by Goddess Scribe.

**Sent in by reader Joyous Trouble.


	8. Joxer the Bard of Slash

Title: True Slash 8/9  
Author: Werewindle  
Email: periwinkle@otakumail.com  
Rating: Pg-13  
Fandom: Xena/Hercules  
Pairing: A/J  
Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.  
Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena  
Status: WIP  
Series/ Sequel:  
Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.  
Website: http://grayswandir.virtue.nu/

Xena was slowly going nuts. Joxer was pacing along the side of the room, hands buried in his hair. Gabby was sitting across from her ranting about the unfairness of it all. She couldn't believe Dite got Ares to do this. Gabby was sure that Ares would pick Joxer just to spite her, even though she /obviously/ had the better talent. This had been going on for over half an hour. 

How long could it take to read two little scrolls and pick a winner? Surely they couldn't take much longer. If it did she might have to resort t-

*boink* 

"Xena you're not paying attention to me!" 

Gabby just threw a piece of fruit at me. That's it I give up! They can drive each other nuts I'm going to take a nap. 

"Xena, Xena! Where are you going? Come back here! Hey!"

~~~~~~~

"For the title of 'Best Bard of Slash' our winner is …"

"Oh for the love of. Just get on with it Dite!"

"Hold you horses Ar', man no flare for the dramatic. Alright, the winner is Joxer the Mighty! Yay Joxie! Hugs stud-muffin! Now Gabby, here are your scrolls, Ares and I made comments so you can see where you went wrong." 

"WHAT! I lost to that, that… /Joxer/! I can't lose, I am a /bard/ for Zeus sake! Gimme those, Xena! Xena!"

"I won. Wow, I've never won anything before." Joxer breathed. "So what did you think of it Lord Ares?" Joxer peeked through his lashes at Ares before glancing back down at where he was scuffing the toe of his boot along the floor. 

"I think it had a lot of potential, in fact why don't you come with me to my temple and we can /discuss/ it in further detail, hmmm?" Ares held out his hand in invitation.

"I would like that." Joxer's smile was blinding as he took the proffered hand. He tucked his body along Ares so he could flash them away. "Bye Dite, and thanks!"

"Bye Joxie, Have fun guys!" *giggle* I'm starting to get a buzz off those two already. Where's my Hephie, I'm going to have a little excess energy to /work/ off. *flash*

~~~~~~

Joxer won. I can't believe this! Xena won't let me into our room and everyone else is gone. *grrrrr* Might as well see what they wrote. Lets see, Dite's first. 

'Reads like a het scene.' What, there were two men. How can it read like a het scene if there were two /men/. 

'Never happen in real life.' How would she know anyway? I'll bet that happens all the time. 

'Need to do some research.' Research?! No way. It was bad enough having to write it there is no way I'm going to watch it! Gross! Well that was useless. What did Ares write?

'Overly effeminate/overly masculine characterization' This from Mr. Macho himself? *snort* 

'Unrealistic, no preparation. Unless your partner is a masochist you need lube at the very least.' Lube? Preparation? Is that a diagram!? Oh Hades, I think I'm scarred for life. *whimper*

~~~~~~~~

A/N

Well that's just about it. I am going to try for a fluffy little scene for J/A. Hope you have enjoyed it. 


	9. Joxer the Sated

Title: True Slash 9/9  
Author: Werewindle  
Email: werewindle@otakumail.com  
Rating: Pg-13  
Fandom: Xena/Hercules  
Pairing: A/J  
Disclaimer: Don't own, just borrowing.  
Warning: A little Gabby bashing. Slightly OOC Xena  
Status: WIP  
Series/ Sequel:  
Archive: AJCS anywhere else just ask.  
Website: http://grayswandir.virtue.nu/

Joxer laid sprawled over his lover, his head tucked under Ares chin. The sheet draped haphazardly over their hips against the chill. Ares was running his fingers lightly up and down Joxer's bare back causing the man to shiver. They had had a very thorough /discussion/ that afternoon and were sated but exhausted. 

"You know I think you should consider being a bard. I really enjoyed your story and I know Dite was impressed too and she sees a lot of 'erotic' literature." Joxer blushed at the praise. They laid there in comfortable silence watching the sun set over Olympus through the wide open windows at the foot of the bed.

"It's really nice here, well what I've seen of it anyway." Joxer teased. "Not quite what I expected."

"And you expected what? Black everything, heads on pikes? Silly mortal, that's the guest rooms." Ares laughed when Joxer poked him in the stomach. "You haven't answered my question yet."

Joxer leaned up on one arm so he could see Ares face, "Well lets see, tromp around the countryside, sleeping on the ground, eating Gabby's cooking, or stay on Olympus with you. Silly God, of course I'm staying. I will have to say good bye to Xena and Gabby, let them know I won't be traveling with them. Maybe after Gabby cools down a bit though. It's not like I'll never get to visit them right?"

Joxer looked down at where his fingers were drawing patterns on Ares chest. "You're sure your family isn't going to mind my being here? I wouldn't want anyone to get mad." Joxer mumbled refusing to look up. 

"No one can say anything about who I have in my own temple Joxer. I am the God of War, Heir to the thrown of Olympus."

"Well when you put it that way." Joxer smiled at Ares and lowered his head for a kiss. 

~~~~~

And they lived happily ever after, well mostly…

A/N 

Finished, finished, finished! Happiness! I hope you enjoyed it. I know it's not a very long ending and it was kinda rushed but I might think about writing a sequel sometime. If anyone is interested. 

I was looking at my header and some how in my rushed half asleep state I let spell check change my email address to periwinkle, and since I have been just copy/pasting the header its like that for several chapters. *shakes head* that'll teach me to type at 2 in the morning when I'm all jet lagged. 


End file.
